Tampilkan postingan dengan label Jokes. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label Jokes. Tampilkan semua postingan

Fakta Unik, Aneh, Dan Super Ngaco

Jumat, Agustus 28, 2009

Duduk didepan komputer seharian di laboratorium matematika, saya menjadi pusing dan bosen sekali. Yah...biasa, jam ngajar penuh banget... Lalu saya iseng-iseng membuat tulisan ini yah hanya sebagai jokes saja. Ya daripada gak ada ide apa yang harus di tulis, anggap saja ini tulisan sambil lalu yang mungkin bagi anda sama sekali tidak menarik. Yah namanya juga iseng... Kenapa saya beri judul itu? ya tadi, karena saya iseng, gak tahu harus nulis apa, apalagi ngasih judulnya. Tapi sepertinya keren juga tu judul.... :)



Langsung saja saya tuliskan fakta-fakta tersebut :

Fakta tentang ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ :
1. 26 huruf yang indah dalam alfabet.
2. Istilah dari A sampai Z adalah ungkapan 'lengkap !'
3. Huruf yang digunakan bagi anda untuk mengungkapkan kebahagiaan anda dalam tulisan.
4. Sebuah sinonim dari ' “boredom '

Fakta tentang 123456789 :
1. Gak ada yang istimewa, hanya nomor biasa.
2. Biasanya orang menggunakan angka-angka itu untuk membuat teka-teki ( yang paling sering memakainya adalah guru matematika untuk menghukum muridnya).
3. Deretan bilangan tanpa nol yang jka diterapkan operasi aritmetika menghasilkanbilangan 100. Yaitu : 123 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 + 8 - 9 = 100

Fakta tentang QWERTYUIOP :
1. Barisan huruf pertama pada keyboard.
2. Kata pertama yang diterima di email di jaringan komputer adalah qwertyuiop.
3. Barisan huruf terpanjang di mesin ketik adalah qwertyuiop.
4. Barisan huruf terpanjang yang bisa saya ketikan di keyboard menggunakan rangan kiri.

Fakta tentang ASDFGHJKL :
1. Barisan huruf yang terletak di tengah keyboard.
2. Mengungkapkan sebuah perasaan yang kata lain tidak bisa mewakilinya.
3. Ekspresi dari kefrustasian.
4. Kata terakhir, dimana tidak ada kata lagi yang mau kita tulis.

Fakta tentang ZXCVBNM :
1. Barisab huruf paling bawah di keyboard.
2. Kita mengetikan huruf-huruf ini ketika kita jengkel dengan komputer kita yang lagi heng.
3. Anehnya beberapa orang percaya bahwa ini adalah sebuah kata yang ada artinya.
4. Ketikan zxcvbnm di google, lihat apa yang terjadi.

Fakta tentang 987654321 :
1. Sebuah urutan bilangan biasa.
2. Sebuah bilangan real.
3. Sebuah hitungan mundur 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
4. Coba ini : 123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321 (menarik bukan?).

Hahahhaa...aneh bukan??? Udahan ah, daripada keterusan ngaconya...:)
Mungkin nagi anda yang ingin menambahkan fakta ngaco lagi silahkan....

READ MORE - Fakta Unik, Aneh, Dan Super Ngaco

Berita HEBOH dari Nazareth

Minggu, Agustus 02, 2009

Telah ditemukan berkas yang didugaraport milik Yesus waktu sekolah dulu.
Tertulis : agama dapat nilai Ckarena setelah ditanya siapa yang menciptakan dunia, Ia menjawabBapaKu.
Olahraga dapat nilai D karena setelah disuruh berenang, Iamalah berjalan di atas air. Matematika dapat nilai E karena setelahdisuruh menjumlahkan 2 ikan + 5 roti Ia malah menjawab 12 bakul.
HanyaKimia yang dapat A karena Ia dapat membuat Formula, merubah airmenjadi anggur.



READ MORE - Berita HEBOH dari Nazareth

Ahli Matematika

Sabtu, Agustus 01, 2009

Ada tiga orang penjelajah yang sedang bertualang menggunakan balon udara. Pada suatu ketika mereka sampai di suatu daerah asing yang sama sekali asing bagi mereka. Dan mereka sadar kalau mereka telah tersesat. Lingkungan disana adalah sebuah pegunungan dan lembah yang berbatu-batu. Mereka berteriak sekali, lalu terdengar pantulan dari suara teriakan mereka. Lalu seorang dari mereka berkata, " aku punya ide, dengan kita berteriak mungkin akan ada orang yang mendengar, karena efek panyulan membuat suara kita menjadi jauh" . Dan mereapun sepakat untuk mencoba dengan cara itu.


Lalu mereka mulai berteriak, " Halllooooooo......dimanakah kitaaaa.....?????" Dan mereka mendengar pantulan dari teriakan meerka beberapa kali. Lalu 15 menit kemudian mereka mendengar suara jawaban dari pertanyaan mereka. "Kalian tersesaaaattt......!!!"
Lalu salah satu diantara mereka berkata, " itu pasti seorang ahli matematika yang menjawab kita."
"Bagaimana kamu tahu? " tanya temannya.
"Yah...aku yakin sekali kalau itu ahli matematika" dia melanjutkan. " Ada tiga alasan kenapa dia ahli matematika,
1. dia memerlukan waktu yang lama untuk menjawab.
2. jawabannya benar benar BENAR.
3. jawabannya sama sekali tidak berguna!
Haaaaaa.....
Apa pendapat kalian tentang ahli matematika? Silahkan tulis tanggapanmu di kolom komentar.
READ MORE - Ahli Matematika

Applied Mathematics

Rabu, Juli 15, 2009

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime


SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay Rp. 2 for a 1 item he needs.
A woman will pay Rp. 1 for 2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men, but
married men are a lot more willing to die.

MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

APPEARANCE
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

COMPREHENSION
There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings,
poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.


READ MORE - Applied Mathematics

New Math ?

A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic, he said it was his mission.

He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said, "Now that's addition."

In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, "Now that's subtraction."

Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation.

And both together smiled and said, "That's multiplication."

Then her Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.

He kicked that boy three blocks away and said, "That's long division!"
READ MORE - New Math ?

Change The Variable

A math student is pestered by a classmate who wants to copy his homework assignment. The student hesitates, not only because he thinks it's wrong, but also because he doesn't want to be sanctioned for aiding and abetting.


His classmate calms him down: "Nobody will be able to trace my homework to you: I'll be changing the names of all the constants and variables: a to b, x to y, and so on."
Not quite convinced, but eager to be left alone, the student hands his completed assignment to the classmate for copying.
After the deadline, the student asks: "Did you really change the names of all the variables?"
"Sure!" the classmate replies. "When you called a function f, I called it g; when you called a variable x, I renamed it to y; and when you were writing about the log of x+1, I called it the timber of x+1..."

READ MORE - Change The Variable

KUIS SIAPA IDOLAMU BERDASARKAN BILANGAN

Rabu, Juni 03, 2009

Ini adalah kuis untuk mengetahui siapa sebenarnya idola kamu. Kuis ini menggunakan prinsip matematika, jadi dapat dikatakan bahwa hasilnya kualified dan bisa dipertanggungjawabkan...heheheheh....

Ok, dimulai saja kuisnya...

1. Kamu bayangkan sebuah bilangan antara 1 - 9 ( misalnya: x ).
2. Kalikan bilanganmu itu dengan 3 (misal : x * 3 = y ).
3. Kemudian tambahkan hasil perkalian tadi dengan 3 ( misal : y + 3 = z )
4. Kalikan hasil penjumlahanmu tadi dengan 3 ( misal : z * 3 = k )
5. Akhirnya kamu akan mendapatkan hasil akhir sebuah bilangan yang terdiri dari 2 atau 3 digit. Jumlahkan masing-masing digit tersebut ( misal : k = 23, maka penjumlahannya adalah 2 + 3 = 5). Paham kan???

Naaaahhhh...hasil akhir inilah yang mencerminkan idola kamu sebenarnya...
Mau tau hasilnya?

Cocokan bilangan mu( hasil akhir hitunganmu dengan list berikut.
Inilah hasil telusuran idolamu :
1. Inul Daratista
2. Roma Irama
3. Barack Obama
4. Peter Pan
5. Slank
6. GIGI
7. Pak Presiden
8. Pak Wakil Presiden
9. Agustinus Yogo Krismanto
10. Dede Yusuf

Sudaaahhh...gah usah kaget sama idolamu itu....
Aku tau kok....jadi gak usah malu....
Hihihihiihi....

Bagi yang suka dengan matematika, kenapa ya bisa begitu????
Silahkan kasih komentar....


READ MORE - KUIS SIAPA IDOLAMU BERDASARKAN BILANGAN

HATI-HATI

Sabtu, Mei 30, 2009



Hati-hati bagi kamu yang suka selingkuh...
Jangan sampai hal ini terjadi pedamu...:)










READ MORE - HATI-HATI

HOW FIGHTS START

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was
flipping channels.
She asked, ' What ' s on TV? '
I said: ' Dust. '
And then the fight started...



My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our
upcoming anniversary.
She said, ' I want something shiny that goes from 0 to
150 in about 3 seconds. '
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...


When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I
take her someplace expensive...
So, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...


After retiring, I went to the Social Security office
to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the
counter asked me for my driver ' s license to verify my
age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very
sorry, but I would have to go home and come back
later.
The woman said, ' Unbutton your shirt ' . So I opened my
shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, ' That
silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me ' and
she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
experience at the Social Security office.
She said, ' You should have dropped your pants. You
might have gotten disability, too. '
And then the fight started...


My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high
school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady
swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, ' Do you know her? '
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.
I understand she took to drinking right after we split
up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been
sober since. '
'My God! ' says my wife, ' who would think a person
could go on celebrating that long? '
And then the fight started...


I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...


A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom
mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says
to her husband, ' I feel horrible; I look old, fat and
ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment. '
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near
perfect.'
And then the fight started...


I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller
Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at
night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started...
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look
big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore
yesterday.
And then the fight started...


A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent
babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise
came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and
yelled at the man 'Holy crap. That must be my
husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked
jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the
ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as
fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the
bedroom and screamed at the woman, ' I AM your
husband! '
The woman yelled back, ' Yeah, then why were you
running? '
And then the fight started...


Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made
my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into
the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to
back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the
garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the
weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and
slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife ' s back, now with a different anticipation, and
whispered, ' The weather out there is terrible. '
My loving wife of 10 years replied, ' Can you believe
my stupid husband is out fishing in that? '
And then the fight started...


I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our
anniversary? "
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet
appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that ' s when the fight started...


My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A
Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and
said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying
"Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that ' s when the fight started....
READ MORE - HOW FIGHTS START

 
 
 

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